Beghitam

Do you know where you’re going to in your life? For me I’m not sure.  After  I am through with this course, I’m basically clueless what should I do next. I intend to pursue a career in OSH. So, I applied almost all job postings that featured SHO position. However, until now, I’m still stuck at square one: jobless. Mr. Raz was unable to help. He couldn’t afford to employ me although he’s one of the few people who recognized my talents. So, again, I feel miserable of constantly being wasted of my brain power, wits, talents and whatever potential that I posess.

Sometimes, I couldn’t avoid thinking that I have some personal problems that I didn’t know. What’s going on with me? Why am I the only one left without any advancement in life? Everywhere I go, friends and relatives seemed to have their life: a career, social life or at least they get things that they wanted to do. Me? Not only I constantly watch others do things that I always want, but also I’m stuck with things that I didn’t comprehend or don’t want. Its like getting wrong pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. If only my life’s like the puzzle, I’ll just pick everything and burn them away.

While whining, I still keep distributing my resume to companies like get-rich-quick scheme flyers. I am just tired of waiting for an oppurtunity while others have gone miles ahead. Maybe I should just forget everything and pusue things that I had an interest like being a zoo keeper or animal conservation volunteer. Or according to my slowly twisted mind, pester my mum to get me married and be a full time housewife. Then my brain will rot for good and I don’t have to whine about the same thing anymore.

If I ever finally get a job, I’m not sure myself whether my brain will work at full capacity, given parts of them are already rusted. Its only my arrogance (or is it confidence?) that says I am capable of doing it.

Meanwhile, I still have 2 assignments to do and a project paper to complete. The class only has 2 or 3 days left. So, after that, my social life will return to nil apart from job: nil.

~ by magebane on September 15, 2007.